Wild But Formal: The Beginning

Wednesday 24th June 1998

Tempus Fugit | Wild But Formal | Further Important Update | Small World Theory | Japlish

Tempus Fugit

Time flies. Fugits, even. There are a number of pieces of evidence I could cite to back this up. For instance, I am no longer at university. One year ago today, I was sat in Durham wondering exactly how badly I had screwed up my immediate prospects. Now I appear to be earning a fairly decent amount of money doing work I enjoy in one of the citiest cities in the world. Cool. It was either time or a large amount of hallucinogens which got me here, and I know which one I'm going to admit to at the moment.

But one of the consequences of time moving on is that people also move on - and that means you, unless of course you're determined to remain in academia for ever. Or have a *real* job already.

So, I ask *all* of you who are finishing PhDs, Masters, PCGEs, law conversion courses or even just plain old degrees to let me know a couple of things:

1) How did it go, then?
2) What's next?
3) Will you have access to an email account in the near future and, if so, where?
4) Do you care if you never receive another installment of this pap ever again?

And please do so, because if there's one thing I hate more than those little double-sheathed straws you get in cartons of chocolate milk over here which prevent you from drinking it, then it's losing touch unneccessarily.

Wild - But Formal

There's one particular series of adverts at the moment which deserves special mention for its groundbreaking use of special effects, its witty dialogue, its cunning take on the urban jungle myth, and for having a man with a bloody great lions head in it. Bear with me...

Two people driving along a night-time city street in a fairly generic 4 by 4 off-roader. One is an attractive female executive, who appears downcast and apologetic. "I'm really sorry I forgot the files for that meeting," she says to the driver. Apologetically. Cut to the driver. He is a normally proportioned human being with what is undeniably a lion's head on his shoulders. He says only "Sshh", and then suddenly drives the car into the lobby of a hotel. And up the stairs. It's quite a wide staircase, OK? The woman laughs with excitement, joy, and probably not a little seat-belt chaffing as she is bounced around. Driving up the stairs of a hotel in a 4 by 4 has never been so much fun!

They get out of the car on the roof of the hotel. The night-time cityscape is spread before them. The woman looks at the lion (let's call him Cedric) and says, rather sheepishly and a little coyly, "Thanks". She sounds like she means it, too. Cedric says nothing as she draws closer to him, and then puts his arm around her. They gaze into the night sky.

Caption and authorative-sounding voiceover: "Wild but Formal". Wow. That's me told. I wish I had a lion's head already.

Eh? What? Was she on her way to the roof of the hotel anyway? "Thanks" for giving me a lift? Thanks for understanding about the files? Thanks for not just eating me in an animalistic display of rage? What? Why the hell is Cedric a lion? Why doesn't he say anything? Mind you, what would he say? "Don't worry about the files, love; I'm just going to screw up the Hilton's axminster and get a spot of fresh air. Hope your seat-belt's on." And hey - a talking lion? That would be ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as a man with a lion's head driving a 4 by 4, in fact. Did he get away with not saying anything at the meeting? What with not having the files and being a mute, it must have been a corker.

You will no doubt be relived to know that there are more where this came from, all cunningly juxtaposing wildness with formality. Who says the Japanese advertising community lacks subtlety? (Me.)

A Further Important Update!

There's a third Antonio advert! Yes, there is! And guess what? It's almost exactly the same as the other ones! *This* time, though, he says, breathlessly, "That's my Forester!" as, again, he is hunched over the steering wheel. I do hope they filmed all of these at the same time - transatlantic flights aren't cheap.

Small World Theory

What are the chances of someone coming up to you at a Tokyo railway station and revealing themselves to be a fellow fencer? Admittedly enhanced if you're wearing a giant red fencing bag on your back, as I was, but I was still quite shocked.

She knew both the people I mentioned at London University Fencing Club - just another reminder that the world ain't all that big and scary after all; you will generally be able to find someone who knows someone who knows someone you also know. Or at least a McDonalds.

Japlish du Jour

(from a serious news programme on one of the major networks:)

News - The Flash!

(it wasn't actually that flash, to be honest. "Flash! A-haaa! He'll save every one of us!" Apologies to all you Queen fans out there.)

That's all for now - and please remember to let me know if you're moving on; I hope to hear from you all soon.

Regards,

Chris

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