Ado and Why It Can Be FUN

Sunday 1st March 1998

Ado | Money | Further Ado | Fridge Update | Arcades | Competition | Japlish

Good afternoon, and a big "Hello" to all of you. This should be the part of the e-mail where I say something like: "and without further ado", but not this time...

Ado

I have now found an internet cafe where they have a membership system. So, having paid for the month, I can now afford to have plenty of ado, which is what this is. Ado, ado, ado. Almost sounds like latin, doesn't it?

Money

Sorry I've been silent for so long - I know how some of you have come to depend on this mailshot from week to week, especially those of you who can't get hold of the prescription drugs because even your counsellors think you're weird. The truth is, I've been a bit strapped for cash, ever since I managed to spend over 25000 yen (120 quid / 200 dollars / several billion New Taiwanese dollars) at my local 7-11 in one night. Without buying anything. All the utilities bills here have barcodes on them, and can be swiped at convenience stores, just like a pack of pocky sticks (although far less fun - even less essential). This is great if you want to pay them, and not so great if you don't.

But languish no more! Tokyo Tales returns; the only e-mail cure for insomnia available without prescription.

This is thanks to my recent discovery of an ATM that will advance me cash on my Barclaycard - boy, am I in trouble now....

Further ado

Ado, ado, ado, ado, ado.

Fridge update

Well, it's looking a bit sparse at the moment, to be honest. The grapes-in-jelly thing is still there, of course, but that's about it. I left the butter out by mistake one morning, and returned to find that it had metamorphosed into something that can best be described as "I can't believe it was once butter".

I'll be audidtioning for replacements this evening at the 7-11.

Arcades

Oh, yeah, the Bass Fishing game. This really is something else. It has a fishing rod handset, complete with spool, with the line disappearing into the console about 4ft in front of you, under the huge screen. Think "Virtua Cop Takes Early Retirement" and yo're halfway there. It looks like great "fun", but seeing as how I have no hope of understanding the instructions I have as yet been reluctant to give it a go.

You aim your cast, watch the virtual hook splash into the virtual lake, and then reel the bait in slowly, jiggling the line here and there, varying the speed, whatever. You drag it past a fish - it bites! Suddenly the poor fool playing the game is nearly yanked off his feet by the force of the simulated fish fighting for its simulated life - this is probably more fun as a spectator sport.

So how does that staple of arcade game plot-lines, the end-of-level baddie, transfer to the high-octane, thrill-packed sport of bass-fishing? A particularly nasty pike? Or does the sim relocate you to a virtual Manchester canal, where the challenge is to avoid shopping trolleys, condoms and police divers? Please don't expect me to find out in a hurry.

Competition

Well, seeing as no-one was even remotely close to the correct answer of 87 free postcards, I get to keep the prize myself. Which is lucky, because this week it's dinner in the restaurant of my choice here in Tokyo, and would have cost a fortune to fly one of you guys over for it.

This week's question:

Why am I writing this?

Polite answers only, please, to the usual address.

Japlish du Jour

(as seen on the packaging for a pair of jeans recently:)

Stable Minstream Group
CHESSKING
Satisfaction guaranteed

Please examine this
with your whole heart
BOBSON'S

(I'm very sorry to say that I didn't feel moveds to examine them with anything approaching my whole heart, though. They *looked* okay...)

Until the next time;

Chris

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